A day at the water park.

I brought all 3 kids to the water park today. Yes, by myself. What can I say? I’m into self-torture. Anyway, I have some comments that I wanted to share with a few anonymous people I saw at the water park. Hate me if you must, but I blame my comments on PMS.

1. To the teenage girl who weighed 60 pounds at the most… Bones are not sexy when we can see every one of them poking out of your skin. If the interior distance between your stomach and your back is less than 4 inches, you’re not sexy. Being forced to carry your body’s various organs in your beach bag is not sexy, either. I can tell by the way you swing your flat butt and wet hair that you think you’re all that and a bag of chips. Earth to bones: you’re NOT all that and maybe you should eat those chips without barfing them up.
2. To the beast who entered the park just before us… If your butt is bigger than the two-seater tube, you probably shouldn’t use it. You’ve been warned.
3. To the 40-something-year-old lady with the hideous checkerboard bathing suit… Was that crap homemade? FYI, bathing suits held together with fishing line aren’t appropriate for a water park and your kids are embarrassed to be seen with you.
4. To all the teenagers who were parading their butt cleavage around all day… Butt cracks are not the new black. Get a bathing suit that fits.
5. To the little middle school terd who saw me sitting on the chair with a sleeping baby on my chest… When you intentionally kicked the water in my direction and then laughed, it was only funny to you. You’re lucky I was holding my baby, because for the next 30+ minutes I envisioned bashing your head into the concrete over and over and over. Where was your mother, anyway? You need a spanking, followed by an enema of burning hot lava.

On a more serious note, I saw a teenage girl with hands, but no arms. Her hands had grown straight from her armpits. I was so proud of her for being there, despite her disability. The crowd couldn’t help but stare, but she was having the time of her life and seemed oblivious to what was going on around her. I prayed quietly for her that her life would be blessed abundantly and that she would know God. She reminded me of Nick Vujicic (watch video below), who is an amazing person: