They taste like chicken.
Some time ago, I mentioned that long toenails freak me out. If you missed that post, do yourself a favor and click here. No, really. Do it. You owe it to yourself.
Now that we’re all on the same page, shall we continue?
Let’s discuss children. There are some things about children that freak me out and make me want to puke. My own children are not exempt from The Nasty List. The Nasty List includes, but is in no way limited to, the following:
- Eating with dirty hands, especially if dirt is caked under the fingernails.
- Neglecting to wash hands after using the toilet, especially if potty break included a BM significant enough to leave remains smeared inside the bowl.
- Snot running out one or both nostrils.
- Visible ear wax.
- Eating boogers.
I could keep going, but I’ve already hit the target for today’s post: eating boogers.
When I was a young child, definitely under age 3, I may or may not have had a bad habit. My parents may or may not have threatened to end my life for eating boogers.
For the record, I never tolerated the consumption of snot. The slippery texture repulsed me. But sometimes I would zone out while my mom or dad was driving. As I stared out the window contemplating nature’s beauty, I would start to pick my nose to kill the time. When my nose was extra dry, I would find these teeny tiny dark gray boogers. I would roll them between my fingers until any hint of moisture was gone. Then, still lost in the zone, my finger would casually meander toward my mouth. Before I knew it, the teeny tiny booger was on my tongue. And then it was over, just as quickly as it began. After all, these minuscule things were roughly the size of a mustard seed. Inevitably, my mom or dad would see me in the rear-view mirror just as my finger slipped into my mouth. They would nearly swerve off the road, screaming obscenities, threatening to end my life, and demanding I spit it out immediately.
Once my dad asked me, “How? Why? What would make you want to eat your boogers?”
To which I replied, “They taste like chicken.”
Just kidding. I just made all that crap up. Like I would have EVER done that! What kind of person do you think I am, anyway? My God! Give me a break!
Thank Goodness I am a vegetarian. Boogers are not in the diet just like chicken.
When it comes to the above mentioned list, while I feel similar distaste for those things, I also hold to the addage “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
The disgusting things I have seen can probably only be compared to an ER nurse who worked summers at a kids camp.
Seriously.
And I have never seen someone die or even get sick from boogers. Or mud. Or even from poop. (yes, I’ve seen poop in mouth syndrom. Withholding names to protect the guilty.)
So while I strive to teach basic hygene and manners to children around me, I won’t be swerving off the road or threatening death if I saw Ella picking and eating.
I’m inclined to pick my battles, and those are NOT my armageddons!
I have to admit…I’ve been on clipping my kids’ nails a lot more often after reading your blog. The dirt under the fingernails is starting to really irritate me too.
Don’t ever apply for a job in an elementary school. I see kids eat their boogers almost every day. Believe it or not, you start to get used to it after a while. Ew. Did I just type that out loud?
The dirt under the nails is an indicator of a good day for my kids. Especially my son.
Eating boogers, it’s a right of passage. I’m pretty sure we’ve all tried it once, whether we remember it tasting like chicken or a 4 hour old Quaker Oat.
I feel sick.
I actually gagged my way through that whole post…I’m not sure why I kept reading!
This post is just one of many reasons why I subscribe to this blog.
haha. laughing so hard.Both of my girls had that problem at one point. Myca was the worst! Thank God she is 7 and I haven’t seen her eat a booger in a long time, but no kidding she got those Bertie Botts Harry Potter weird flavored jelly bean thingies from World Market a year or so ago and honest to God, she liked the booger flavored ones! I wonder if they do taste like chicken…I am not brave enough to try and find out. My youngest Reese on the other hand just ended that nasty habit and proceeds to tell us every day: “Mom, Dad: I don’t eat my boogers anymore”. To which I reply: “I know that’s great, what DO you do with them?” Reese says: “Um, put them on a tissue?” Okay…then I say…”But what do you REALLY do with them?”…and she says….: “um, wipe them on my shirt.” hahahahaha.