Asking for a sign.
We were young when we had Taylor. Both 19. Although I wanted her to have a sibling, I wasn’t sure it would happen. Somehow I convinced Andy to have another child and Nathan was born in January 2002. Then he cried for two straight years. Seriously. Cried all the time. I didn’t know what was wrong with him. Andy swore we would never have any more kids. In fact, we had an appointment for his vasectomy in early 2003.
Even though Nathan’s constant crying made me consider ripping out my reproductive organs with my own hands, I was not at peace regarding the vasectomy. However, Andy was completely convinced it was the right thing to do. After all, we had a girl and a boy. Why have more kids? So we made the appointment, but I started praying for God to give us a sign of whether or not we were doing the right thing.
On the way to the surgery appointment, I silently prayed and begged God for a sign, because I still wasn’t at peace about the decision. I told Andy about my prayer and he just shrugged it off, insisting it was the right thing to do. He said, “We’re already on our way to the hospital, Lori. If God was going to give us a sign, don’t you think He would have stopped us by now?”
When we arrived at the hospital, we went up to the right floor. I needed to use the restroom, so I told Andy I would meet him in the doctor’s office. When I walked out of the restroom, he was still standing in the hallway. I asked him what he was doing. He said he had accidentally gone into an ob/gyn office. I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. Sign # 1.
We walked down the hall to the correct office door, but it was locked. I checked the time and we were a couple minutes late. There was no logical reason for the door to be locked. I sighed and stared at Andy. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Sign # 2.
Finally the nurse unlocked the door and let us into the waiting room. Andy signed in and we took a seat. I said, “Andy, I asked God for a sign and He gave us two.” Andy rolled his eyes, obviously believing these were merely coincidences.
Just then, the receptionist called Andy up to the counter. She explained that the doctor was at another hospital and had surgeries scheduled all day, so we would need to reschedule. Sign # 3.
I looked at Andy and said, “Come on! Seriously!” The third sign was his tipping point and he finally believed the message was from God. We left the hospital and drove straight to our church. We met with one of the pastors (Randy) and he prayed with us. Although neither of us could imagine more kids at the time, we were finally in agreement that we weren’t to take any permanent actions to prevent more kids.
Now, 6.5 years and 2 children later, I’m incredibly thankful God was persistent in getting through to us. When people ask if 4 is it, I just laugh and say it’s up to God. I adore the four children He’s given us and if He wants to give us more, I’m perfectly okay with that!
“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him…. How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them!” (Psalm 127:3-5)
I don’t know if you know, but as long as I’ve known you…4 1/2 years, I have prayed for you in this area. When I met you, more children were the furthest thing from your mind. While it wasn’t out of the question, it just wasn’t a question. And at the time, it broke my heart. Not that every family has to have a billion kids. But every couple should want what God wants for them, without saying “no thanks.”
To see you and Andy grow so massively in your spiritual lives (because what else is the question of more children, if not a question of allowing God to have his will in our lives no matter what?) and it wasn’t contained To that. You’ve shared your testimony about trusting God with your finances. And now with your Children.
It really makes me tear up, I’m not kidding. I’m so so glad. We don’t know what God has for us, if we tell him “no” before he can even ask the question.
I am so glad. It is literally an answer to prayer to hear you say that.
Maybe you don’t have any more. But the ones you have…can you imagine having said “no” to any one of them? Yeah. It boggles the mind.
– Leah
Thank you so much, Leah! Your last paragraph really hit home for me. It’s so true! My thoughts have done a 180 in the last few years. I want to take all the limits off God because He obviously knows what’s best for me and for my family. I can’t imagine not having Noah and Jonah. I’m excited to see what else God has for me, in all areas of my life!
Lori
I follow your blog (not really remembering how I found it) but I wanted to chime in on this post. I grew up in FWB and met/married my husband. We too had our kids young, starting at 22. Long story short, we had our boy, and our girl by 2004-we said we were done. We went to the Air Force (my husband is Active Duty) and they said we were too young for anything permanent, so we were ‘careful’ for the next 6 mos. In those 6 mos I became pregnant again, this time another girl. Again, we went to the Air Force and finally they said ok. My husband had his surgery in Jan 2006, and was given the ‘all clear’ and we went about our merry way(s). Aug 2006 I became pregnant, we were shocked, but we dealt, we thought 4 was the new 3 as far as kids go. So, now, again, we thought we were done (we ended up having another girl) and in the process of moving from Tx to Az, I discovered we were/are yet again expecting. 5 kids total…never in a million years, or even in 2004 when we originally said we were done having kids would I have said we’d have 5 kids.
I’m blessed beyond words to know that God chose me, us to be our kids’ parents. I cringe to think how empty our lives would be had HE not given us our 3,4 or even 5 child.
Hi Lori, I found your blog through Lauren’s (my SIL) blog about being done with kids at 24. I believe we met at the Shine conference and possibly once in Destin at Shoreline when we were visiting. I am 25 and feel “done”, but like you guys, we had an appointment for a “V” and my husband woke up the morning of and said, I have to cancel my appt. I don’t have peace. I was thrilled b/c I didn’t have peace either but I was really praying that he would make the decision. he did! Still only have 2 sweet boys, but every day I give up those reigns to the Lord a little more. Like Leah said above, if we truly are done, I am so blessed to have my boys and if we’re not, I will be unable to imagine my life without any future children I may have. Thanks for your openness. In Him, Jessica
This is so inspiring! Thank you for sharing! I have been trying for two years to convince my husband to have another baby…he’s quite insistant that he’s done with three. One from his previous marriage and two with our marriage. However instantant he is, he is not ready for permenant solutions of the vasectomy or tube tying. Reading this makes me realize even more that I am not ready to give up. Everyone tells me I should be happy with what I have…after all I have one boy and one girl and a wonderful step-daughter. But what most people do not realize is that I lost my sister to a car accident 14 years ago. It was always “her and I” against the world! We were always there for one another during my parent’s divorce, then moving around as Navy Brats and again when my step-dad got sent over to Desert Storm. I can’t help but feel cheated out of having little neices and nephews of my own…I feel that having a big family will be healing for my heart. I want my children to always have the benefit of having family around and knowing they can count on one another forever. Thank you again for sharing. I know in my heart that one more baby is what this family needs…I just need to keep praying that God will help me convince my husband.
Just read this. . BEAUTIFUL post! Love it! What a blessing!