Things that stink.
Last night was a little rough. Jonah was up every two hours. Progress comes and goes, not unlike the tides. We’ll get there eventually. Thankfully, I was able to stay in bed until 8:30. It was like having a nap, only in the morning, since I usually get out of bed by 6:30. Andy scored 10 points. Not that I’m keeping score.
I woke up to a somewhat unpleasant odor: boiled eggs.
Nathan apparently wanted six eggs for breakfast. Guess which part he doesn’t like to eat?
As I started straightening the kitchen, I heard Noah’s sweet voice coming from the loft above me. I looked up, smiled big, and said, “Good morning, sweetheart!” It was at that moment I noticed he was grinning from ear to ear and not wearing a diaper. I laughed and went upstairs to fix the situation.
When I got upstairs, my laughter stopped abruptly. “What in God’s name is that smell?!” Noah followed me into the boys’ room, where I discovered… the diaper.
I do not like bodily fluids and excrement. I mean, who does? But I really don’t like them. I can handle crap in a toilet or diaper (unlike our friend Eric, who has been known to hose off his toddler son in the driveway). But crap elsewhere? Not so much.
There was crap all down Noah’s leg and the bottoms of his feet, which can only mean one thing: crap on the carpet. I started going into panic mode as I investigated the carpet. I found a couple blobs to attack with Spot Shot. I screamed for Nathan to bring me the baby wipes. He quickly brought them to me.
As I sat down to wipe Noah from belly button down, he tried to “help.” It was then I discovered he had crap all over his hands. Perfect. That means everything he touched had crap on it. But given that his BM was slightly yellow in color, finding all the spots would prove to be an impossible task. Oh, the humanity! Before I stood up, I noticed my feet had found some carpet piles, as well. Praise the Lord.
Twenty baby wipes later, Noah and I were in the shower together as I scrubbed each part of flesh I could find. Does Dove soap sanitize? Don’t answer that. I have to believe it does so I don’t freak out. I’m already upset enough knowing that because the crap was on his hands and feet, there’s a very good chance not all of the carnage made it into this bag:
Needless to say, potty training boot camp officially started today. Pray for us. And if anyone has any recommendations on potty training a boy, I’m all ears.
I feel for you! Same thing happened to me when Ian was little. Can I tell you how happy I am to be done with diapers?
Oh no…I remember these days and I do NOT miss them! You have my full sympathies!
BAh-ha-HAAAaaaaa! i am at work, lmao!!!
The pictures say it ALL!!
Oh boy. I feel your pain. Waking up to poopy messes definitely ranks up in the worst possible things ever.
A couple weeks ago I woke up with Zion nudging me from side of the bed saying “mommy, mommy, judah pooped his pants”. I opened my eyes and hanging over my head was a pair of soaked underwear full of poop. Now, Judah has long been potty trained, but apparently he woke up and couldn’t get his pj’s off fast enough to get on the toilet. For some reason Zion felt the need to come and show me the results.
My potty learning solution is probably one your couldn’t handle if you have a rough time with cleaning up messes though. Both my kids learned pretty early. 18 and 21 months. But, we do it by putting a potty seat on the living room floor and letting them live naked until they get it down. We have wood floors though, so it’s not hard to just grab a towel to soak up pee and we didn’t have too many poopy incidents. They learned fast though because the potty was right there in their face all day instead of “out of sight, out of mind” in the bathroom. And it only takes a few times of them feeling pee run down their legs to figure out the sensation’s relation to the consequence. I used pull ups a couple of times and it only seriously set us back.
I have to ditto Candice…no pullups! When we potty trained our son, Dylan he was our only child so I believe it was easier since it was just he and I. We spent the few days it took to train him loading him up w/ water and then sitting on the potty until he’d go (usually every 15 mins or so) and each time he’d go, we’d ‘celebrate’ and he’d get a small lil treat to keep his enthusiasm up!
Goood luck!
One of the many reasons that I’m slightly nervous about having a third!!! I hate the potty training phase…although it never seems to be as bad as I picture it being. Have fun!!! And just think it could be worse…he could have tried putting his hands in his mouth!!!
Lora Jensen’s 3 Day Potty Training System. Before you say, “yeah right,” check it out online. My son is 3 1/2 and had absolutely no problem wearing a diaper. if he had it his way he would’ve until he was 18 and off to college. lol. A couple of my neighbors tried it and it worked for both of them. I had tried everything for the past year. Plus i also have a 1 year old daughter. The ebook was around $20.00 and I would honestly say he was potty trained in the 1st day. Its been about 1 month and he has only peed his pants 4 times (nightime and my fault for not taking him to the potty before bedtime) and NO poops! It was like something finally clicked for him. I could be a walking advertisment for this woman, it was amazing! Granted, I couldnt leave the house for 3 days, nor could I lose sight of him those days, and I have a baby, but we did it! Good Luck!
Girl, I just love reading your blogs!! You crack me up with your amazing way with words!!
I’m literally laughing out loud with aftershocks of giggles!!
I’m totally in love with the way his toes on his left foot are playing with each other. Makes me want babies…….like…….two years from now.
I’ve been laughing about this since I read it yesterday…I had to came back, read again and comment. Since God didn’t bless me with children because in His wisdom he knew they they would be cuter than me and smarter than me and I’d HAVE to kill them…well I get to live vicariously thru you and your adventures!! I love the hardboiled eggs and those toes! The Target bag visual, not so much!!! Lori, keep up the sharing!
Hi! Found your blog via a google search on “potty boot camp”…..and have to thank you for the best laugh I’ve had in days! Potty training is one of the biggest challenges you’ll face as a parent and yet one of the most rewarding. The first time your child runs over and uses the toilet of their own accord you’ll feel like you won the lottery!
Good luck!
Suzanne Riffel, author of “The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers”
LOL! I curse carpet for this very reason. Oh, and put him on the potty backwards. He will feel safer and won’t have to ‘point’, he’ll always make the shot. Best advice I ever got.