School Days

For this post, I was too lazy to remove the plastic film in my albums before taking digital pictures of these old photos. Annoying, yes. But by sixth grade, you’ll be thanking me that the pictures are blurry.

Kindergarten – I was so stinking cute. I lived with my parents in Virginia and my baby brother had just been born. My mom used to braid my hair and I loved it. I was too young to realize my glasses were so hideous. Ignorance is bliss.

1st grade – Apparently dressing up considerably was in style for school picture day. I still refused to show my teeth when smiling.

2nd grade – Perhaps I should have kept my mouth closed, since my teeth were confused on which direction God intended for them to go. This is the year my parents separated. I had no idea how much that would suck. Don’t I look oblivious?

3rd grade – This is the year my parents divorced. I spent the night at my mom’s place and forgot about school pictures the following day, thus this terrible outfit. I hated it then and I hate it now. It was literally the only thing in my closet that morning. And to add insult to injury… pig tails. And horrendous glasses. Sweet.

4th grade – I moved to Illinois with my dad. Not sure what happened to my 4th grade picture, but I assure you, it was not that pretty.

5th grade – While I was keenly aware of how bad my glasses were, at least I still had beautiful skin and smooth, shiny hair. Silver lining, people. Look for it.

6th grade – Still had good skin, but… I’m not sure what is worse: the glasses, the crispy fried bangs, or the geometric sweater. The braces were a nice touch, too.

7th grade – As your mama always taught you, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Therefore, moving right along…

8th grade – The summer before 8th grade included quite a transformation. I moved to Florida. Finally crucified the infamous glasses. Got the braces off, which revealed perfectly straight white teeth. Discovered tweezers and took care of my uni-brow. In regards to the bangs, the crispy claw morphed into the softer poof ball. Oh, and I got a perm. I actually kind of like the perm. Should I do it again? Or is a perm as taboo as acid washed jeans? Help me, people. I’m so out of touch with fashion reality!

9th grade – Grew out the perm and let the bangs go natural. The uni-brow was a thing of the past, but it sure would’ve been nice if someone had taken me to the salon to get those caterpillar brows thinned and shaped. Incidentally, the whiteness of my teeth is making my 32-year-old self jealous, dawg. Years of coffee, while delicious and satisfying, not to mention a necessity when you have young children, will do a number on those bright whites.

10th grade – Does that shirt make me look fat or what? Because I was seriously like 100 lbs at the most, but I look much larger.

11th grade – Finally grew out the bangs. My hormones were merciless in regards to my skin (I hate acne almost as much as I hate pap smears). On a good note, I started dating Andy, which inevitably led to me stalking him, which led to him impregnating me out of wedlock (scandalous, I know), which led to our marriage and at least 3 more kids, which… I’ll stop there. Anyway, this was the year it all began. {sigh}

12th grade -I don’t have many complaints about this one. Nice smile. Great photo editing on my zits. Decent hair, although I wish my Chi had existed then. Eyebrows needed some help, but overall… not too bad.

So, there you have it. The good, the bad, and the ugly.