“What we see depends on what we’re looking for.”

I usually read inspirational quotes with glazed over eyes. I’m not really a fan of fluff. But this statement was profound.

What we see depends on what we’re looking for. Let that marinate for a few minutes.

This simple statement leads to complex results, and those results aren’t necessarily a good thing.

My initial thought was regarding politics, since that’s what’s been dominating the news, and thus my facebook feed. If you’re a Republican, you can find a million things wrong with Democrats. If you’re a Democrat, you can find a million things wrong with Republicans. But this isn’t just political. It’s for anything. Dieting. Exercising. Parenting. Basically, given the information overload known as the internet, you can find countless reasons to support a cause/person. Likewise, you can find countless reasons to despise a cause/person.

I’ve heard this quote many times: “You can’t love someone when you’re busy judging them.”

What we see depends on what we’re looking for. Sometimes we’re so busy complaining about how the glass is half empty, that we fail to realize it’s half full.

What if we all saw the glass half full? What if we all looked for the positive, instead of focusing on the negative? What if we all looked for the good in people, rather than focusing on the things that piss us off? What if we all focused on loving, rather than judging?

What we see depends on what we’re looking for.

Nathan, late 2002

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Here’s the deal, though: For the most part, I don’t actually like meat or milk (ice cream and cheese are a different story!). Filet mignon occasionally? Yes. But on a day-to-day basis, the preparation of raw meat and the texture of cooked meat is gross. And the more processed meat is (deli meat, chicken nuggets, etc), the more I want to vomit when I think of eating it. I’d rather be a vegetarian (or at least 95% of the time). However, I’ve encountered a problem every time I try to eliminate meat from my diet: I never feel full. It sucks to always feel hungry!

I’ve heard a lot of buzz regarding the documentary Forks Over Knives. I was skeptical, but Andy and I watched it last night (FYI, it’s available to watch on instant play on Netflix). According to IMDb, Forks Over Knives “examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting our present menu of animal-based and processed foods.” That’s quite a claim, but it looks like they have enough substantial evidence to prove it. I’m open to trying it, given that both of our families have a history of disease, especially cancer. I’m not really a fan of meat, anyway!

If you haven’t watched Forks Over Knives, I encourage you to watch it. Then come back to my blog and share your thoughts. (I mean this in a nice way, but until you’ve watched the documentary, your opinions on it are irrelevant. Watch before you comment!)

If you’ve already been eating a plant-based diet, what’s your experience been like? Have you seen any noticeable changes?

Also, I’d really like to have, say, two weeks of “go to meals” that are meat-free, yet make my belly feel full and satisfied. So, if you have any favorite plant-based recipes [that actually make you feel full], please share them below or link to them.

I’ve always wanted to help people. When I hear of a need, I immediately think, “What can I do to help? How can I make a difference?” When I can’t do something myself, I can usually think of a way to organize a group of people to accomplish something bigger. Unfortunately, that’s where it used to end. I haven’t felt like we had enough margin (or enough money), so I haven’t felt I could financially help most of the time. It has been so frustrating to be willing but unable.

I have these friends who are generous. No. They are extremely generous. As I’ve gotten closer to them over the past year and a half, watching them has really stirred my heart. I see how they’ve been able to help people, and I’ve wanted to do that, too.

Over the summer, our pastor talked about giving above and beyond our tithe. He wasn’t talking about giving above and beyond to our church. He was talking about looking for ways to be generous to others. This reminded me of a few years ago when he talked about being someone’s miracle. Anyway, something clicked, and I prayed, asking God to give us margin and show us ways to be generous, and be someone’s miracle. I didn’t have to wait long for an opportunity.

Shortly after that prayer, I received horribly sad news from a friend. Her sister’s baby had died during childbirth. I immediately felt that we needed to buy her plane ticket so she could fly home to be with her family for the funeral. I didn’t say anything about that to her. Instead, I said the typical, “Let me know if there’s any way I can help.”

A few days passed. It was a Saturday. We are a family of seven, and only had six dining room chairs. Also, my daughter’s bed had broken, so her mattress was sitting on her floor. I had been saving money and planned on furniture shopping that day, budgeting $1,500 for eight chairs and a bed. I wasn’t feeling very optimistic about finding something I liked at that price, but I was willing to try. I went shopping and, to my surprise, I found exactly what I wanted for $800 total! I couldn’t believe it!

That afternoon I bumped into my friend’s husband. Again, I immediately felt in my heart that we were supposed to buy my friend’s plane ticket. I asked him how things were going, and if the baby’s funeral had been planned. I told him that we could help with a plane ticket, if needed. He said he appreciated the offer, but that they were okay.

Later, I told Andy about the conversation with my friend’s husband. He was a bit annoyed with me, because he didn’t feel like we could afford to do something like that. I told him my offer had been refused, so to not worry about it.

That evening, I got an email from my friend. She said she felt weird asking, but if my offer was still good, she did need help purchasing a plane ticket. Because it was last minute, airfare was very expensive. She wouldn’t be able to attend the funeral without our help. The ticket was $700. Before I could even start praying about how much to give, I felt like God told me, “You budgeted $1,500 for the furniture, but you found what you wanted for only $800. Do you think the $700 difference was a coincidence?”

You should know that $700 is a lot of money to us. I’ve bought my friends dinner, yes. But $700? Seriously. That’s kind of crazy. That was way out of my comfort zone and didn’t seem rational, realistic, or responsible. Couldn’t we just give like $100? Or maybe $200? But I knew in my heart that God was prompting me to pay the full $700. Would Andy agree to it? He hadn’t been receptive earlier, but if this was really God, surely He had been working on Andy’s heart.

My  heart was racing as I went to talk to Andy. I said, “Andy, I just got an email from [my friend]. I know you didn’t really think we could afford to help, but they don’t have the money for her ticket right now, and -”

Before I could even finish, he said, “Do it. Pay for the ticket.”

I said, “But the ticket is $700!”

He said again, “Do it. Pay for the ticket.”

And so we did it. We gave them $700 the following day, and she was able to be with her family during an incredibly sad time.

I’m not telling you this to impress you, or to make you think highly of me. This isn’t about me at all. This story is to encourage each of you to be extremely generous with what you have been given. If we can do it, you can do it. I guarantee that if you ask God to show you ways to be generous, and you make yourself available to follow His nudging, He’ll provide the means. I have found that the more willing we are to give, the more God has provided for us to do just that. We are being used as His funnel. Consider Luke 6:38… If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving – large or small – it will be used to measure what is given back to you.

What if we put others’ needs above our own wants?

What if we all looked for ways to be extremely generous?

What if we asked God for opportunities to be someone’s miracle?

Imagine the possibilities.

(1) Use the money to purchase things for our kids, then wrap them and put “from Granddad” or whatever on the gift tag.

(2) Divide the money equally between the family members, allowing the kids to spend their cash as they please.

(3) Use all the money to take a family vacation.

Andy and I already know what we’re going to do, but I’m interested to know what YOU would do with the money. Feel free to elaborate on how you made your decision.

My mom’s dreams came true, and the four children she birthed were all in town for Thanksgiving. You can only eat so much before you get bored. So, my step-dad constructed targets in their backyard, and some of my more adventurous family members practiced throwing darts and tomahawks.

Apparently darts and tomahawks weren’t exciting enough, so rather than shop on Black Friday, they went to the shooting range. Yes, my daughter shot a gun. I’m not sure how I feel about that, to be honest.

I really like this photo of me with my brothers. They are crazy! I’m sure you want a name with a face, so…

This is David, age 29. He’s married and has two daughters. They live in Clearwater, but they are not Scientologists.

This is Rich, age 24. He has a cool girlfriend, and they live in Maryland. He’s a college student and a college professor, at the same time. I can’t decide if that mustache makes him look more like Mario or Luigi.

This is Ben, age 22. He lives in Colorado and goes hiking and wrestles bears and stuff like that. I really like his red jacket.

Surprisingly, Josiah tolerated being this close to Ben. He usually freaks out when I put him down long enough to take a photo of him. And God forbid someone touch him. He can’t handle it!

You see? I tried to take a photo of my mom with her grandbabies, and Josiah pitched a little fit. Thanks for nothing, kid.

To be fair, Josiah doesn’t always cry. See? He can smile! He walked all over the house with this thing, but he still won’t attempt to walk unassisted. Maybe by Christmas?

My niece Olivia is six months younger than Josiah. I wouldn’t be surprised if she walks before he does.

My niece Ava loves her cousin Taylor!

But you know who became BFF? Noah and Ava. They are three months apart, and basically played together every second. It was fun to watch them. They had so much to talk about! They discussed preschool, movies, toys, etc.

I’ve basically given up having The Perfect Family Photo, 2011 Edition. This might be as good as it gets, but you know what? That’s good enough for me!